I’ll admit it: sometimes I hate the Enneagram.

That might sound strange coming from someone who is both a therapist and an Enneagram coach, but it’s true. I love this framework, I use it in my practice, and I’ve seen it transform people’s self-awareness, relationships, and growth. But at the same time, I struggle with how it often gets used and portrayed online.

Here’s why.

Surface-Level Stereotypes Have Taken Over

The Enneagram was never meant to be a checklist of behaviors or quirks, yet that’s how it’s often presented. “Type 1s are perfectionists. Type 7s are fun and scattered.” While traits exist, reducing an entire system of human motivation to a handful of catchy phrases misses the depth entirely.

The real power of the Enneagram lies in its ability to reveal our core motivations, fears, and blind spots, not just the behaviors we show on a given day. Without exploring those deeper layers, the Enneagram becomes just another personality label, and labels are limiting.

Here’s a deeper dive into what the Enneagram is really about.

People Use Their Traits as an Excuse

I’ve heard it countless times: “I’m just really blunt because I’m an 8,” or “I’m so emotional because I’m a 4.”

The Enneagram isn’t a life sentence. It’s a mirror. The point isn’t to hide behind your type, it’s to notice it, understand it, and make conscious choices. When used well, the Enneagram becomes a tool for growth and transformation, not an excuse for staying stuck.

Mistyping Happens More Than You Think

With the rise of online quizzes and surface-level tests, mistyping is incredibly common. People often choose the type they want to be or the type they’ve been told they are, rather than the type that actually reflects their deepest patterns.

That’s why working with an Enneagram coach or therapist can make such a difference. Together, you can dig below the surface to uncover what truly motivates you. And not just what you do, but why you do it.

You can read more about common Enneagram struggles here.

Stereotypes Push People Away

One of the hardest parts for me is watching people dismiss the Enneagram entirely because the content they see feels shallow or exaggerated. When someone encounters only memes and jokes, it’s easy to think the Enneagram is “just personality nonsense.”

But the Enneagram has real depth and research behind it. Studies in psychology have found connections between the Enneagram and emotional regulation, coping mechanisms, and self-awareness (see Sutton, Allinson & Williams, 2013).

When used well, the Enneagram can be a transformative tool for understanding yourself and improving your relationships.

Follow me on Instagram where I share both the fun side of the Enneagram and the deeper side of the work.

Why I Still Love the Enneagram

For all my frustrations, I keep coming back to the Enneagram because it works. It helps people name their patterns, recognize their blind spots, and start making choices that align with who they want to be.

The Enneagram is not about stereotypes, excuses, or labels—it’s about growth.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by how the Enneagram is talked about online, you’re not alone. The work is deeper than memes, quizzes, and catchphrases (though those can be fun, too). At its core, the Enneagram is really about discovering yourself beyond the surface.

If you’re ready to explore the Enneagram in a way that goes beyond stereotypes and into true transformation, I’d love to support you.

👉 Learn more about working with me