Enneagram Perceived Weaknesses are Actually Linked to Your Greatest Gifts
Often, I talk to my therapist about how frustrating it is that I do so much second-guessing in my life. I frequently beat myself up because of how much I worry about what other people think of me, what I might do wrong, what else outside of my control could go wrong, and the list goes on and on. If I could just learn to not care so much and let it go, maybe I’d be healthier.
I envy some of my Enneagram 7 friends who can just roll with the punches and don't worry about what could go wrong.
Meanwhile, I can spin out in my head over all the different ways something could fall apart.
That’s when my therapist helps me realize that, maybe the fact that I second-guess so much is actually linked to my Enneagram 6 strength of avoiding bad or painful outcomes where others might not be able to.
It’s like two sides of a coin: on one side, that “weakness” can be frustrating. But on the other side, that weakness helps us accomplish one of our greatest gifts.
If I didn’t slow down and consider all the outcomes, I wouldn't be able to make decisions confidently, and avoid the negative outcomes I care so much about avoiding.
Two-sided Enneagram coins: How are some of our “weaknesses” linked to our greatest gifts?
Enneagram 1: If you weren’t so focused on how to make things better or “perfect,” you might not have as much ability to right wrongs and change things for the better. Your ability to fight for justice, pay attention to details, and fix things that need fixing is not something that everyone has.
Enneagram 2: If you weren’t so sensitive to how other people treated you, you might not have as much ability to gently care for people who need you. Your ability to be kind, compassionate, and anticipate the needs of others is not something that everyone has.
Enneagram 3: If you weren’t so invested in your work and achievements, you might not have as much of a positive influence on other people who need your motivation and inspiration. Your ability to chase after your dreams and reach your goals is not something that everyone has.
Enneagram 4: If you weren’t so aware of and in touch with your emotions, you might not have as much of an ability to be comfortable processing huge feelings. Your ability to recognize and deal with sadness, anger, grief, and other “negative” emotional experiences in yourself AND in others, is not something everyone has.
Enneagram 5: If you weren’t so careful about making mistakes or afraid of not knowing the answer, you might not have as much of an ability to make highly sound judgements. Your ability to find logical and correct solutions especially in difficult situations is not something everyone has.
Enneagram 6: If you weren’t so prone to weighing your options and re-thinking your decisions before you make them, you might not have as much of an ability to avoid negative outcomes. Your ability to take your time and assess consequences is not something everyone has.
Enneagram 7: If you weren’t so enticed by change or motivated to try new things, you might not have as much of an ability to enrich your own life and inspire others to do the same. Your ability to be adventurous and seek new experiences is not something everyone has.
Enneagram 8: If you weren’t known as someone who doesn’t back down, you might not have as much of an ability to stand up and fight for people in need. Your ability to be bold, seek justice, and protect people you love is not something everyone has.
Enneagram 9: If you weren’t as easily affected by other people’s opinions and attitudes, you might not have as much of an ability to extend unconditional compassion to other people. Your ability to see all sides of a situation and connect with people who often struggle to connect, is not something everyone has.
Reframing “weaknesses” is not the same as justifying bad behavior.
There is a big difference between saying, “It’s a good thing I overthink everything to the point I spin out and can’t make a decision,” and saying, “If I didn’t consider all my options, I wouldn’t make the good decisions I’m able to make.”
If you’re a therapist or mental health professional looking to integrate more concepts like this into your practice, I have a course for that! I teach it a couple times per year. Check now to see if registration for my next session is currently open!