Enneagram 3 Profile

I’ve seen firsthand how the Enneagram has influenced my therapy practice, my clients, and my own personal growth. In order to better understand its impact, I interviewed a representative of each number to see the world through their lens.

What do you love the most about your number?

I love that, as an Enneagram Three, I have the ability to figure out how to achieve just about anything I’m interested in doing. The resourcefulness that comes along with being a Three has been incredibly useful in figuring out how to be successful.

What is the hardest thing about your number?

Learning to be OK with feeling as though I haven’t met others’ expectations and figuring out what it is that I actually want.

How have you used the knowledge of your Enneagram number to grow toward your best self?

The biggest practical advantage knowing my Enneagram number has afforded me is the ability to catch myself when I start obsessing about the opinions of other people. The Enneagram has helped me recognize that getting into those cycles of obsession is a coping method that doesn’t serve me well. In addition, it has helped me figure out how to transform those same coping skills that sometimes don’t serve me well into skills that do -- that is, I’m still resourceful and able to achieve my goals, but it’s no longer tied to a compulsive need to please others. The Enneagram has helped me develop a growing conviction that my personal value is totally unrelated to how good I am at meeting the expectations of others.

How has the Enneagram been useful to you during the therapy process?

The Enneagram has helped me recognize that meeting the expectations of others is a fundamental motivator of my behavior. This has allowed me to spend time in therapy exploring how it would feel to be honest about and pursue my own desires. Spending time with the difficult emotions associated with the process of embracing my own desires has been SO helpful in moving through those emotions. The Enneagram is an incredibly powerful lens through which to view my responses to other people and the world at large. When we spend time in therapy talking about the difficulties I encounter as I move through the world, the Enneagram can help us quickly recognize how those difficulties fit into larger patterns.

What advice would you give to other people of your same number?

Learn to trust yourself and look inward. You have the inner resources and wisdom to deal with any problem you encounter. How other people feel about you or the world you inhabit is not nearly as important as you think.