December 29, 2025

Attendancy: How the Direction of Attention Shapes Enneagram Patterns

6-minute read

Series: Grounded Enneagram, S01E16

TL;DR

Attendancy describes the habitual direction of our attention—where we naturally focus our energy. Drawing from recent Enneagram work by Dan Siegel, attendancy falls into three primary directions: internal, external, and dyadic. While everyone needs access to all three, Enneagram types tend to favor one, shaping how they relate to themselves, others, and the world.

What attendancy means

Attendancy is a way of describing where attention habitually goes.

Not what we think.

Not what we feel.

But the direction our awareness faces most of the time.

Just like the three core needs—agency, bonding, and certainty—attendancy is something all humans share. We need flexibility to move attention inward, outward, and between the two.

But Enneagram patterns tend to over-rely on one direction.

The three directions of attendancy

There are three primary directions attention can take:

Internal
External
Dyadic (both at once)

Each direction serves an important function. Problems arise not from using one—but from overusing it.

Internal attendancy: attention turned inward

Internal attendancy is the ability to focus on:

thoughts
emotions
bodily sensations
internal meaning and reflection

This direction supports:

introspection
self-awareness
emotional regulation
deep thinking

It’s essential for knowing yourself.

When overused, however, internal attendancy can become withdrawal—a narrowed focus on the inner world that misses important relational or environmental cues.

External attendancy: attention turned outward

External attendancy focuses on:

people
relationships
environments
external cues and feedback

This direction supports:

social connection
attunement to others
reading situations accurately
practical engagement with the world

Humans are social beings, and this capacity is essential for cooperation and belonging.

When overused, external attendancy can lead to loss of self-contact, over-accommodation, or dependence on external signals for orientation.

Dyadic attendancy: attention moving between self and other

Dyadic attendancy is the ability to hold internal and external awareness at the same time.

It involves:

noticing what’s happening in me
noticing what’s happening in you
adjusting responsively between the two

This direction is crucial for:

healthy relationships
mutual regulation
flexibility and responsiveness

Dyadic attendancy allows for give-and-take rather than collapse into self or other.

Why attendancy matters for the Enneagram

Attendancy explains how attention moves, not just what motivates us.

Just as Enneagram types prioritize different core needs, they also tend to favor different directions of attention. Over time, this becomes patterned—automatic, unconscious, and familiar.

Understanding attendancy adds a new layer of clarity:

why some types withdraw
why some focus outward
why some oscillate between self and other

It also points directly toward growth: flexibility of attention.

What’s coming next

Over the next set of videos, we’ll explore:

which Enneagram types lean toward internal attendancy
which lean toward external attendancy
which lean toward dyadic attendancy

And how these tendencies shape relationships, stress responses, and growth paths.

Key takeaways

Attendancy describes the habitual direction of attention
There are three directions: internal, external, and dyadic
All are necessary; imbalance creates limitation
Enneagram types tend to favor one direction
Growth comes from increasing attentional flexibility

Want to go deeper?

Explore guided courses, workshops, and resources with me.

About Michael

Michael Shahan is a licensed marriage and family therapist, Enneagram coach, and teacher. He integrates Enneagram wisdom with evidence-based therapy to help people build honest, spacious relationships with themselves and others.

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